How kindness can help us at work — and in our finances

My father-in-law, Sam Golden, passed away on March 8 at the venerable age of 89. He served for many years in the office of legal counsel of the University of Chicago, was an avid and talented amateur cellist, and advocated passionately for the rights of the developmentally disabled. This morning the family rose up from “sitting shiva,” the traditional Jewish practice of gathering at home for seven days, surrounding by friends and family, to remember and mourn. As we move back towards our normal routines, I have been thinking about what we need to do to carry forward the goodness that Sam brought into the world. His values can be summarized in four actions, which I think serve as a guide for all of us: make music, live each day passionately and fully, love your family, and work for social justice. May his memory be for a blessing.

His passing had me thinking about how we can be our best selves in the workplace, where we spend so much of our time. I remembered reading an article with a surprising and upsetting fact — a great way to make a senior partner at a big law firm mad is to send him or her a thank you note. Apparently, a partner’s time is so valuable that reading and deleting a thank you email is an intolerable waste of resources. I did the calculation: at a billable rate of $1000/hour, the 10 seconds it takes to delete a thank-you note is worth $2.77 – about the same as a cup of coffee at Starbucks. Good to know that these attorneys are being so mindful of controlling the firm’s costs. Or is the upset really because courtesy in general is not valued in the senior ranks of some law firms? Perhaps this contributes to the toxic culture that drives away highly talented associates? In my consulting work with law firms, I have found that a norm of civility contributes to engagement, retention, and productivity — all of which lead to a better bottom line.

Sometimes we can’t bring kindness into the workplace alone. Tech leaders who get coaching are 16 percent more likely to remain at their companies, and the same statistic holds up for the folks who report to them, according to not-yet-published research that was discussed at the annual conference of the Society of Consulting Psychology. It’s great to see hard data that coaching makes a measurable difference in leaders’ satisfaction and in how they lead. It’s also a great reminder that if you’re struggling at work, there are concrete benefits to getting a little help — for both yourself and those around you.

Thinking about self-improvement also reminded me of something I learned at the Ravinia Roundtable a month or two ago. Investors are driven by greed or fear, according to one of the participants. When the market is doing well, it’s greed; when the market is down, it’s fear. What a depressing summary! I have no doubt that those are two of the primary drivers of investment choices. But with the new emphasis on socially conscious investment, at least some of us are directing our investment dollars to businesses that have a positive impact. In fact, some writers are suggesting that the distinction between charitable donations and business investments is diminishing. Donors expect that non-profit organizations will manage their finances in a business-like manner, and investors are paying more attention to how their capital is contributing to or solving social problems. Both trends sound like a way for us to get closer to our better selves while still securing our better futures.

Gail Golden

As a psychologist and consultant for over twenty-five years, Gail Golden has developed deep expertise in helping businesses to build better leaders.

https://www.gailgoldenconsulting.com/
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