To negotiate successfully, know what you want and why

Want to negotiate successfully? Think of two sisters fighting over an orange. There is only one orange and each one wants it. They quarrel for a while and then finally agree to cut the orange in half so each one gets an equal share.

Seems fair — but what they failed to identify was why each of them wanted the orange. The first sister wanted to make orange juice. The second sister wanted to bake a cake that required orange peel. Because they didn’t take time to really understand what each person wanted, they came to a solution that satisfied neither party.

I heard this story from Professor Michelle Buck at a recent presentation to the LEAD program of the Executives’ Club of Chicago. It illustrates the difference between positions and interests. Positions are our stated demands or requirements. Interests are the reasons behind those positions. And in a tough negotiation it’s really important to distinguish between the two.

How often do we get stuck in negotiations or fail to reach an optimal solution because we only talked about our respective positions? Next time you feel yourself going in circles, try steering your negotiation back to the why of what you want. You may find out that your interests align more closely with your opponent’s than you ever would have thought looking at your respective positions. Who knows, maybe you can have your cake and she can have her juice.