Aging well: 6 ways to make the most of your next chapter
There are a whole lot of old people around these days. Nearly 1 in 5 people in the U.S. are 65 and older, by far the highest percentage in history. As far as I’m concerned, this is great news. I’m one of the old folks, and I think we have a whole lot to offer.
At the same time, this demographic shift poses challenges, both for old people and for the people who have to deal with us. In our personal lives, there are generational issues:
The burdens of eldercare, which often fall on people in their 40s, who are simultaneously wrangling the complexities of childcare.
Financial concerns. On one hand, as a group, people over 55 are fantastically wealthy, owning 73% of America’s wealth although we are only about 30% of the population. Of course, that wealth is by no means evenly divided. Sixty percent of folks 50 and older worry about having enough money to feel secure in retirement, and 17% of people who haven’t retired yet have no retirement savings at all.
That means that younger people get to worry about not only their own financial needs but their parents’ as well.
In the workplace there are other issues. Old people often hold — and give voice to — negative stereotypes about younger workers. They’re lazy, entitled, illiterate, uncouth and don’t know how to dress properly. Meanwhile, younger people often have degrading stereotypes of older workers. They’re rigid, change-resistant, prejudiced, technologically incompetent and probably sliding into dementia. Not a formula for a productive, innovative, satisfying workplace!
How to age well
As a card-carrying baby boomer, I’ve been doing a lot of thinking and reading about how we can age well. Many of us are going to be around for a long time. What are the choices we can make that increase the odds that we will “live long and prosper,” to quote one of our favorite sages, Mr. Spock of “Star Trek”?
I’m going to offer up some advice for myself and my peers. I don’t presume to tell younger people how to live. You’re smart and you’ll figure it out. So here are some of my thoughts for us old folks:
It’s extremely important to stay connected. Especially if you’re retired or widowed, be intentional about building and maintaining friendships and a sense of community. This is one of the main factors in maintaining both physical and mental health.
Work. It doesn’t have to be a paid gig, but it has to be something that makes a difference to someone besides you. Hold down a paid job, start a business, volunteer, make art, take care of your family — do something that matters.
Keep learning. Explore new ideas. Don’t think you know it all already.
Pay attention to your emotional self-regulation. Monitor the intensity of your emotional reactions and especially your emotional expressions. Don’t let yourself get mean.
Balance humility and self-confidence.
When life gets tough, as it will, you’re allowed to feel sorry for yourself. But don’t wallow. It makes people not want to be around you just when you need them the most.
Part of successful aging is having a plan. There’s an old Jewish saying: “Man plans and God laughs.” But that doesn’t mean that planning is a bad idea. I’m working with clients now through “Compass Conversations,” my structured process to help them figure out how to make their next chapter as meaningful and fun as possible.
The good news about growing older
None of this is easy. But here’s the good news. Several studies have found that the happiest time of life is around age 70. Those of us who are lucky enough to have grandchildren usually find them to be an incredible source of joy and fun. In the workplace, many of us have leadership roles and feel confident in our experience and expertise. A lot of us are comfortable in our own skin and grateful for all our good fortune.
Growing old ain’t so bad. And it sure beats the alternative.
If you’re considering a career change, approaching retirement or deciding what comes next, Compass Conversations can help you clarify where you are and where you want to go. Contact me to learn more.
